"I always have a quotation for everything -- it saves original thinking."-Dorothy L. Sayers, Have His Carcase
So I collect quotes, so kill me. Mostly I save them in my e-mail signature file and randomlly torture friends and family with what I have collected.
I get some of my quotes from magazines, some from websites and some I just make up.
"There is no 'I' in team? Well there's no 'We' in tips either." - Karri Norton
"There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe that there are only two kinds of people and those that don't." - Karri Norton
"No matter what the occasion, sarcasm is always the best resposnse." - Karri Norton
"In my travels I am often asked if college stifles young writers. In my opinion, it doesn't stifle them enough." - Flannery O'Connor
"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."-Woody Allen
"For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."-Woody Allen
"I think animal testing is a terrible thing. They get all nervous and give silly answers."-Stephen Fry
"I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology."-James R. F. Quirk
"Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be--or to be indistinguishable from--self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time." Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon
"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them." -Jane Austen
"A great philosopher once said--I think it was Henry Kissinger--nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy."-Robert Orben
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."-Groucho Marx
"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other."-Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts"
"There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time." COCO CHANEL
"Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time."-E. B. White
"It is not depravity that afflicts the human race so much as a general lack of intelligence." - Agnes Repplier, American writer and social critic (1858-1950).
"But only in their dreams can men be truly free. Twas always thus, and always thus shall be."-Dead Poets Society
"There are two great rules of life, the one general and the other particular. The first is that everyone can, in the end, get what he wants if he only tries. This is the general rule. The particular rule is that every individual is more or less an exception to the general rule." - Samuel Butler, English author (1835-1902).
"Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing."-Bill Cosby
"History is principally the inaccurate narration of events which ought not to have happened." - Ernest Albert Hooten, American anthropologist (1887-1954).
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."-Woody Allen
"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people!" - H. L. Mencken
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."-Orson Welles
"Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from poor judgement."
"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." Ingrid Bergman
"Love, I find, is like singing. Everybody can do it enough to satisfy themselves, though it may not impress the neighbors as being very much." -Zora Neale Hurston
"I never forget a face, but in your case I will make an exception." - Groucho Marx
"I wonder why men can get serious at all. They have this delicate long thing hanging outside their bodies, which goes up and down by its own will...If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself."-Yoko Ono
"You know, the problem with sex in the movies is that you usually spill your popcorn."
"Sex on television doesn't hurt - unless you fall off."-Garrison Keillor
A good portion of those quotes came from right here, this lady also collects quotes. She has a very impressive collection made even more amazing by the fact that she does it in her spare time. Look around, check it out.
Here is a list of other quote sites:
Bartlet's Familiar Quotations
Famous Quotations Network
Good Quotations by Famous People
Insprational Quotes although I am not really into inspirational ones as much.
The Quotations Page
Dictionary of Quotations